Do you want to rule the world?
What about your own?
Actualise your fantasies without negative outcome?

Reinvent life for those you hold close?
Do you want to know
How many times I’ve lost myself in that pose?

Just thinking
Wondering where did your life go?

As I stand here resting on the spikes of a fence, pulling away the length of a cigarette
I realise I’ve lost sense to the sixty years or so I’ve got left

Seems like a waste to be
Trapped in the selfish cycle of ‘each day at a time’
Saddened by the memories I find and of ones left behind

Still
Don’t feel ready just yet
To reembrace the world
Spend too much time occupied by death
and failing to live now

Do you ever feel guilty?
For feeling good in yourself?
What about your wrongs?
Give convincing reasons to conflict with your feelings?

Exit the life of those you hold close?
Never willingly (of course)
Do you want to know
How with such an illness you cope?

Recently
Wondering how much longer your life goes?

There are answers I can’t disclose
Because I haven’t yet been able to put it to words
And I’ve spent too long analysing myself
I wonder what someone else
– more informed –
would propose
Upon reviewing all these questions


NB: some symptoms of my own
– Synthetic Love, in parcelled bites
– Graveyard visits at night (with no one particularly in mind)
– Too little reading, not enough eating & then a sudden over-indulgence
– Craving socialism
– Fantasised misery
– Happiness that keeps coming & going in higher frequencies … then
– Flatness at once